December 2010 – Woman, 48 years old, married, 2 children, unemployed, works part time jobs because her husband doesn’t approve of her being employed, although she wants to work.
She comes because of her leg pain and varicose veins. Her doctor recommended a vein operation, but she doesn’t want to undergo the procedure. She decided to try with homeopathy first.
She’s particularly tall for a woman, average build, stocky legs. While walking she gets a feeling of imbalance. She leaves the impression of gentleness, without emphasized gesticulation. She seems calm, perhaps a bit too calm. (At that moment I wasn’t convinced of my impressions about her.) Extremely talkative. Listens very little, talks a lot. When she starts talking, it’s like she doesn’t want to stop. While talking she looks to the sides, often closing her eyes and frequently licking her lips and sticking her tongue out. She is dressed quite plainly, could say unsightly, non-conspicuous.
What is your main problem, the reason you decided to consult a homeopath about?
P: I have pains in my legs and veins. On the right leg I have a pronounced vein. Occasionally I have leg cramps. Both my legs hurt and get inflamed when I get my menstruation.
What is that pain like?
P: The pain is specific, it hurts both outside and inside, I feel heat, weight and tingling. That causes me anxiety.
When did it all start?
P: When I gave birth to my son (second child). I always carried him, being alone with children, no one to help me. When he was almost two years old, the vein on my right leg appeared overnight.
P: Under the knee.
And before the childbirth? Did you have leg problems?
P: I didn’t have veins. My legs used to hurt a little, but nothing special.
Do you have any other physical difficulties?
P: I get headaches from time to time, usually when I get my menstruation. On the second and third day my head hurts, not the abdomen. My neck lodes hurt in the morning when I get up. And when I’m in a bad mood, in the morning my neck lodes and head hurt.
Describe the headache.
P: Like some pressure from above (she presses her vertex with her palm), like someone is pressing my head. Then my neck nodes and my neck become stiff.
How does it stop?
P: I take some painkillers. It doesn’t come back until the next situation.
How do you feel when it stops?
P: I am tired, with no will to work, feeble, in a bad mood, like I have been sick for a long time.
P: Depends on my mood. If someone irritates me I can’t eat.
Who or what irritates you?
P: My son because of his disobedience, husband because of his blaming; he tells everything to our son over me: “You tell him…”, like I am the main culprit, like it would be better if I wasn’t around.
How do you imagine them without you?
P: I know they would not be better, but it is sad because there is no communication between them. Maybe sometimes I wish to leave and be somewhere else, and like that in circles.
P: Not every day. Maybe once in 3-4 days. Sometimes my abdomen hurts and it gets swollen, when I don’t have stool.
P: These days they are regular, although abundant; only sleep helps; only sleep gives me mental rest. If I don’t sleep enough, my abdomen hurts regardless of having a menstruation. My abdomen was always a weak spot, it is the most sensitive part.
P: Pretty good, nothing bothers me.
How is your sleep?
P: Generally well, I can fall asleep and don’t wake up. Rarely I wake up to go to the bathroom. When I am in some sort of problems, I fall asleep a bit harder.
What do you dream?
P: I dream a lot. My mother or my father (both parents deceased) appear often in my dreams to tell me that they are here, that they watch over me and I don’t have to worry. Then, I dream of an unfulfilled love of some man, I never remember his face, but he is the one, offering love, seducing me.
What do you do in that dream?
P: We sit and talk; or I am looking for him and he is nowhere to be found.
What are your feelings in those dreams?
P: Beautiful. When I wake up I have a feeling that I really experienced that.
How do you feel after waking up?
P: I know that it was just a dream, and that it would be hard to find him while married, I feel like a prisoner. I fantasize about him and while awake. My husband was jealous from the beginning and has always blaming and attacking me. I try to evade sex with him. My body doesn’t want it anymore. Not with him, but I can only dream of others. He has rejected me from himself. He is always blaming me.
How does he behave?
P: He is acting like a father to me, he gives everyone certainty, material certainty, and blackmailing me when I don’t sleep with him.
How do you feel then?
P: Helpless, I blame myself because I married him while my father was alive, so he would see that I have married and composed myself, I thought I would get a divorce later, but my mother would not approve, she said that a woman should keep quit and suffer. If I had a divorce I would have my job, I would have my ME. Like this I am lost.
P: Because I think that I did not make it, because I never had courage, I was emotionally weak, didn’t trust myself. There had to be someone to start me, and that was my father or someone like him. I meant something to my father, not as a daughter, but as a person.
How is your mood most often?
P: I look cheerful to everyone, but I feel like I am sleepy, like there is something that needs to wake me up. Then I make myself do something and don’t think about anything.
What would wake you up?
P: Some other life.
Describe “other life”.
P: Sometimes I think that if there wasn’t a husband that I would be feel a lot better. When I am angry I wish for him to die, or fall in love with someone and leave. But I couldn’t leave him. Sometimes I pray to God to rescue me.
P: Snakes. I can’t look at them. Deep water. Heights, when I look down I get dizzy.
Cold/warmth of arms and legs?
P: My legs are always cold. I like warmth. I have a weak circulation. Sometimes I worry about it. And the thing with the vain. Both my mother and aunt died of heart problems.
P: Generally I am not thirsty and drink very little.
P: A little under my armpits.
P: I used to make myself do things. Once I threw out my husband, and felt helpless after that. I don’t have balls.
When do you cry?
P: I cry when I talk about my parents. My kids make me sad, when my son does something bad. Husband when he’s blaming and attacking me. When I watch sad movies.
When you are sad, do you like when someone consoles you?
P: I never had a chance to be consoled.
And when you were little?
P: No one ever consoled me. I would always hide, cry it out and continue.
Would you like someone to console you? A real man?
P: My life is like no one can console me.
Do you have any hobbies?
P: I’ve been collecting napkins since I was a kid. I like to read and write wise thoughts, like I am looking for myself, for reality, wisdom, in them. As if I can help myself.
How much does it help?
P: To a certain extent it does. I feel calmer when I find myself, I am there somewhere, I didn’t deteriorate that much. But if my husband doesn’t appreciate me, then I don’t care if others do.
*Foods and drinks: she doesn’t mention any aversions or desires; likes sour; enjoys warm food, and cold drinks; of sweets she likes chocolate.
P: Sometimes I have fungus on both my thumbs and on my feet. I spread Canesten and it goes away.
P: Sometimes I get dark brow stains on my body. They go away after applying Canesten.
P: Sometimes falls out.
Open or closed environments?
P: I prefer being alone in my home. My husband irritates me when he is there, because I don’t communicate with him. Because of him I feel like I don’t have my freedom. I like to go to a friend, but often I listen to others and speak less. (?)
P: When it is cloudy I feel bad. And even if I feel normal the cloudy weather bothers me.
P: I love my dog that much, that I referred to him with my son’s name a few times. My husband is even jealous of the dog. I dreamed of the dog talking to me. I adore him. He is my amusement, but when I am too irritated he gets on my nerves because he is in such a good mood. Sometimes I wish I were him.
Describe yourself in 3 words which come to you first.
P: Good – as a person, I want to help, a lot of people want to spend time with me – fucked up – I think too much and I’ve lost myself in some kind of philosophy, that my life is more unhappy in my head than in reality and that I imagine that I am that unhappy – I look for perfection – I mean the guy from the dream, an ideal man would give me everything that I don’t have.
Which time of day suits you best?
P: I like the night the most, evening and night, to tend to myself, to be alone in my room.
What makes you feel better?
P: I feel better when I dress nicely, dye my hair, pluck my eyebrows. When I buy something for myself.
And what makes you feel worse?
P: Thinking about missing a big part of my life with a wrong man.
How do you react when you are angry?
P: I used to throw things.
P: I am not doing that anymore. I don’t have the strength for fights anymore. Simply, as if I am someone else. I am calm, I don’t want to say anything bad or ugly to him.
How do you react when watching scenes of violence or similar things on TV?
P: I don’t like scary movies and that sort of things, masks, beards, snakes. I dream about it afterwards. I am afraid of vampires, ghosts, witches. I dreamed about them attacking me.
When did you dream that?
P: Two months ago the last time. Earlier I used to have those dreams more often. Especially when my father died, I had to divide assets with my brothers. They acted as if I had stolen something from them. Then they choked me in my dream.
P: Those beings.
What do you expect from the homeopathic treatment?
P: I would like you to help me make this vein disappear.
What do you feel when you look at that vein?
P: It reminds me of a snake! It’s thick. I would pull it out and throw it away.
P: I would like to have more trust in myself, more strenght and energy, to show me the way, to make it easier if I don’t make my dreams come true. More laughter and happiness.
*When she arrived home after the interview, she phoned me to tell me what happened when she entered her bedroom. She approached her husband’s night stand to turn the lamp on, and thought she saw a snake instead of napkin. She then explained that her fear of snakes was probably passed on to her from her parents because her brother once left some snakes in the garage and they were everywhere.
All throughout the story there is a snake, as a strong fear, and as a delusion of her vein being a snake; she experiences that vein as a snake which somehow entered her leg; also has delusions of snakes (seeing the napkin as a snake).
She has erotic dreams; dreams about a man and that she is in a relationship with him, fantasizes about him during daytime.
Suppressed anger. Acts calmly although being angry.
She relieves herself through talking.
Lack of confidence and feelings of guilt; blaming both herself and her husband; melancholic mood; thinks that she is living the wrong life, wants to leave her family.
She desires to be attractive and pretty.
Develops her spirituality (noting of wise thoughts).
Dreams about being attacked by ghosts and witches.
Headaches related to menstruations.
Abdomen pains stop when the bleeding starts; they get replaced by headaches.
REMEDY: Lach 30C, split dose in water solution with 8 succussions each
First follow up, a month later
She cancelled her vein operation.
In the mean time she got a 6 month job; working as a cleaning lady in a factory. Ten days before the follow up, she had a flu; took Lach 30C in water solution. Next day she called me and said she fell asleep 20 minutes after taking the dose and woke up a few hours later feeling great. Those days she had her menstrual cycle, which she endured much easier than earlier ones and without the inflammation of veins and headaches.
What’s happening with your legs?
P: They don’t hurt anymore. Veins don’t hurt although I am on my feet all day long. They don’t hurt at all. I don’t touch my vein anymore, it doesn’t burn or hurt anymore, and it doesn’t swell anymore.
And you used to touch it?
P: Yes, when it was getting inflamed I used to look at it and touch it. Now I even forget to look at it.
P: I don’t have them anymore. It happened once when I had a fever.
Did you take any painkillers?
P: No. I didn’t have to.
What’s happening with your blood pressure?
P: I don’t have a clue. I don’t measure it anymore, because my head doesn’t hurt.
And your neck lodes and neck?
P: They hurt less. And having in mind that I started working and that I am bent over all day long, they don’t hurt.
P: I can eat now. My husband was shouting a few nights back, his usual, and I just sat down and had my meal. I can’t get upset over the same things anymore.
How are your relations now with your husband?
P: I don’t experience anything dramatic anymore. He yells, and I know it will pass. Now I am dead cold.
Did you have another dream about that man?
P: He is not there anymore. He escaped. You chased him away. (She laughs.) Since then I didn’t dream about him once.
Tell me of some dream you had recently.
P: Only the dog. I only dreamed about him. Husband is jealous still. Can you imagine that, he is jealous of a dog? (She laughs.)
Do you still write wise thoughts?
P: I do. I like writing, being smart. (She laughs.)
What do you think about your statement about being lost in some philosophy and only being unhappy in your head?
P: I think that I just thought about it that way then. Now I feel different, I am calmer, I started working.
What do you think now about the ideal man you used to dream about?
P: I think he was just screwing with me. I think he left me.(She laughs.) Maybe he will appear again.
Would you like for him to appear in reality?
P: Hey, I’ve had enough of him in my dreams. I want him to appear in real life. But, who would love someone like me, someone so messy?
Why are you messy?
P: Well, look at me, I am always imagining something, fantasizing.
You said you felt lost?
P: I was.
P: Now I know where I am and where my place is.
P: Home, with my children.
How do you generally feel?
P: I feel good. (Knocks on wood.) I stopped smoking.
P: I am not beautiful when I am smoking, my skin is yellowish. I want to be pretty, to gain weight, and to rock my style.
P: Healthy life. And to be pretty.
How is your mood?
P: Good, I have fun, sleep, work.
You had a feeling that something had to wake you up.
P: That was then. Now I work and I don’t fantasize that much anymore.
Are your legs cold?
P: Not at all. Yesterday I spent my whole day at home in slippers and my legs were warm.
Foods and drinks? Any changes there?
P: Since I stopped smoking, I have stopped drinking coffee, started drinking cold milk. (She stands up, takes a scale and tells me to write down her weight so she can track if she would gain some weight.)
P: Yesterday my abdomen was swollen but it didn’t hurt. I still have irregular stool.
Describe your last menstruation.
P: I was sick when the last time I got had it. My vein didn’t hurt nor my head. I had 2 Andols because of the fever, and I think that because of that I bled a little longer and a bit more profuse than usual.
Are you content with these changes?
P: I am, but I want to gain weight, and the vein to disappear completely, I don’t want to fantasize about men anymore, I want to eat everything that I like, and to look at my husband superficially. Actually I just want for me and my children to be healthy.
Lach 30C, split dose in water solution
Second follow up, a month and a half later
Still doesn’t have headaches, legs don’t hurt, doesn’t feel the vein.
Appetite still normal.
She had a job promotion. She got the position of a minor boss; she feels capable for the job; she feels joy because she can show that she is worth more than others, and that she has more experience than her younger colleagues. She began to flirt with a colleague. Within her fights she has the desire to prove her femininity and sexuality with the feeling of guilt. The desire prevails.
She doesn’t fight with her husband anymore. When asked about her accusations towards him, she said: “I really know how to be troublesome, to attack people. I used to threaten him that I will throw him out.” When asked about her attacking people she said: “My brother said to me a few times that I am like a snake, that I jump in people’s eyes when we are fighting.” (She gesticulated a snake attack cramping her hand.)
She is content with her current life, and she attributes it to the homeopathic treatment, and the new situation, because since she got a job, she doesn’t have enough time to dream and fantasize. In the evening she is tired and can’t wait to fall asleep. She doesn’t dream anything extraordinary, sometimes of her dog.
Lach 200C, one dose in water solution, with 10 succussions
Up until the end of the year Lach 200C was given 2 times. All of her problems are gone. It is interesting that after every dose taken, if she was without a job, in a matter of days she would get or find a new job. She told me that laughing and said that every time she would like to get a job she would come to me for a homeopathic remedy. Veins stayed pronounced, but without difficulties.
In the mean time she hasn’t ed me. Privately I heard that, when her children became independent she has gone abroad, and now she works and lives there. She comes home sometimes. On some photos I see that she completely changed her image – now she looks like an attractive, confident and content woman.