Note: All proving symptoms are in italics
The Cyber Delusion
Aurum foliatum has the Cyber delusion he has neglected his duty and deserves reproach. The essence of this remedy is to be the first, to be the best. The Aurum patient (child or adult) always thinks he does not do enough for other people or for himself (delusion, he has done wrong) to achieve the highest ambition he fosters; he always thinks that he is neglecting something for which he will be reproached; he seems to carry with him this internal restlessness, and it took from him all perseverance and energy. A person of great capacity, such as someone matching the Aurum profile, is likely to have a great task ahead of him but also, assuredly, a more difficult life. One’s crown is also one’s cross. The Aurum person is very serious, studies and works hard and systematically (industrious), and feels the burden of preparing for future performances; people expect much from him, compounding the pressure he puts on himself. For Aurum, who does not merely think how to spend his time but tries to use it to achieve, the important thing is his personality: his moral character, intelligence, and industriousness. Gold is the symbol of perfection, of freedom and immortality, and a person instilled with such a character always strives for the purest ideas and goals, even if it leads to great personal sacrifice. But it can also lead to the highest goal: achieving true happiness, as the happiness we receive from ourselves is defnitely superior to that which we can receive from our surroundings. Aurum is a person who is ring on all cylinders in order to rise to a challenge. He feels a sense of personal mastery over the goal he has set, and the activity is so intrinsically rewarding that, although the task can be difficult, action feels effortless.
Conscientiousness is one of Aurum’s natural inborn qualities and fundamental personality traits. He exemplifies what he holds important; his values infuse his life. Conscientiousness is equal parts industriousness, impulse control and organization. Conscientiousness is also called responsibility. Responsibility and responding have the same root, being derived from the Latin respondere, “to answer.” To be responsible, for Aurum, means to be ready to respond when and where he is needed. Aurum is very invested in his own family, in community, and in the world at large. These investments call for people to be more responsible, and Aurum responds to that call. This is at the root of Aurum’s life and, ultimately, his suffering. Aurum fills his life to the very brim with goal-oriented deeds for mankind, just as one might fill a cup to the very brim with wine. It is a remedy suited to a child or adult who seems to have the fundamental conviction that he is destined to achieve a superior position in life and extraordinary feats, that it is his birthright. He knows he has great qualities and convictions, and he believes in his own ideals (destined to help people, to become a CEO, great filmmaker, great writer, great healer, etc.). Aurum possesses a productive obsession: it is rooted in love, interest, and desire to better our shared circumstances here in this world. Aurum always thinks big! He learns to banish distractions so that he can concentrate on his ultimate goal. Aurum is hardly a person who looks at himself in the mirror and sees a person who might have done this but didn’t, or who loves that but, for some odd reason, took no active interest in it. Without hesitation, he ups the ante and gets obsessed. He prefers grand pursuits to ordinary ones and stands in solidarity with other members of his species who have opted for big thinking and big doing. He cultivates this productive obsession to the point of exhaustion, walking a long arduous journey with dips and peaks. His mantra is: “I am doing this and I will succeed.” He is a vessel of light, and in his presence we are reminded of our own neglected heights; we are embarrassed to be less than we could be. Socrates, Gandhi, Buddha, Mother Theresa, and Nelson Mandela come to mind. Aurum always has a strong sense of purpose. He radiates righteousness and force of will, and his single-minded focus on the larger significance of what he is doing becomes obvious.
Some humans have the rare tendency among the world’s creatures to give to those to whom they are not genetically related. Among those, one recognizes Aurum people who are particularly prone to benevolence and philanthropy, marked by their kindness, focus, intensity, and great inner strength. Even when the sacrifice is so great that they risk their very lives, they believe the rewards of giving outweigh its consequences, staking their lives upon their values. Ordinary riches can be stolen from a man, but the real riches in the treasure house of Aurum’s soul cannot be taken from him. Aurum is living proof of one of the paradoxes of happiness: man needs more than pleasure to live the best possible life. The broader definition of good living blends deep satisfaction and a profound connection to others through empathy and unconditional service, a rich, full, and meaningful joy. Compassion, altruism, wisdom, insight—sometimes only the trials of adversity can foster these qualities, as is the case for Aurum. These ideals often lead to isolation and even mockery by his contemporaries; he is often more appreciated much later, even after his death. But for Aurum it does not matter, as long as he realizes the nobility of the soul that is within him. A well-balanced Aurum person is in general very productive and animates whatever he touches (the proverbial meaning of “everything he touches turns to gold”). He is a person who carries out the responsibilities he himself has taken on: he is a person free of fear, even in the face of death threats or imprisonment. He might use his wealth to undertake philanthropic enterprises, contributing to the general good of his fellow men.
The person in an Aurum state is generally closed (introvert), refined, and highly disciplined and ambitious. Because of their serious-mindedness and ambition (serious, earnest), such people can lose their sense of lightness about life; it is as if a constant background of sad music has been playing in accompaniment to the events in their life. Aurum children are usually more adult than their friends and choose their friends very carefully. In fact, usually they have few friends, and are often busy by themselves, wanting to be left alone but bullied in school. The Aurum child is very intellectual, precocious, and too serious for his own good. The reaction of the outside world to a joyous child is joyous; the reaction to a serious child is serious, and Aurum does perceive the difference; this doesn’t protect him, though, as he, driven by his CD, cannot change his character. He has a strong belief in his own ego, but his only fear is of failure (delusion, everything will fail; delusion; he cannot succeed and does everything wrong), this can lead to a fixed idea of not being appreciated and a forsaken feeling, a sense of loneliness (delusion, he has lost the affection of his friends and the delusion, that his friends have lost all confidence in him). Especially in American culture, sports stars are much more valued in school than academic stars, who are often dismissed as “nerds.” This can cause self-condemnation (reproaches himself), a constant looking into self, and a deep depression in the Aurum personality, who goes so far as to think that no one out in the world understands him or wants to connect to him (delusion, he is unfit for this world). Aurum can victimize himself by telling himself that he has not achieved enough, that he has not put out enough effort, and that he has let down his friends. Aurum has at the end of his road a negative inflation, which is a state of feeling too bad rather than too good. He feels that he is in no way good enough for this world, that he is always at fault or always wrong. He is, therefore, oversensitive to criticism, both real and imagined. He sits still, wrapped in deep, sad thoughts and notices nothing and broods about whether people appreciate him, which of course only intensifies the fixed idea. Aurum’s perfectionism and conscientiousness create a harsh internal environment as they fail to teach Aurum how to accept his inevitable limitations. He is always on the defensive and constantly feels attacked. Any statement or fact is interpreted as criticism; any obstacle, any difficulty, any relationship problem proves that he is no good, that he is a failure: delusion, everything will fail; delusion, she is lost; delusion, does nothing right. There is a constant threat that eventually all roads lead to depression, melancholy, tears, and withdrawal, to the point of even suicidal moods (imagines to see obstacles in his way everywhere, occasioned partly by contrary fate, partly by himself; makes him feel desponding).